Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Peanut Butter M&M's

My day began with thoughts of Peanut Butter M&M's. The satisfying crunch of the candy shell as it gives way to the creamy peanut butter that is nestled inside a layer of sweet milk chocolate. I could not wait to get to work!

It all began yesterday when I caught a glimpse of this perfect candy in the vending machine at work. I needed to have those Peanut Butter M&M's. I pulled out my wallet only to find a $5 bill, and I just will not break a fiver for the vending machine. I like to credit my will power for this, but the reality is that I am just too cheap. To me, a single $5 is greater than (5) $1's. Breaking a fin to feed the vending machine is unfathomable. Life is much better with the $5 in my wallet, but I digress. Back to the M&M's.

I went home thinking about creamy peanut butter, silky milk chocolate, a crispy candy shell, and my plan to make them mine. The plan was simple enough, grab a dollar, get a good nights sleep, and get to work where my delicious snack awaits.

Everything on the home front went off without a hitch. I woke up well rested, my craving still in full effect, found a dollar, ate a good (but not too filling) breakfast, and headed out the door.

By the time I got to work I could barely contain myself. The wait had nearly spanned 15 hours. Sprinting into the break room, dollar in outstretched hand, I was hit with a ton of bricks. There was indeed one pack of my glorious snack left, but it was behind and empty slot! Curses! It is already well established that I am far too cheap to spend the money for an empty slot just to get to the silky, creamy, crunchy goodness. What was I to do? My day was shot.

At that point I really should have just gone home. Who could blame a person that had just been denied the treasure of the Peanut Butter M&M's for not wanting to do anything but curl up in the fetal position and suck ones thumb? Against my better judgement I decided to power through the day. Nothing went right from there on out.

I was 3 hours behind all day, missed my morning snack, had my lunch delayed by an hour, and nearly dropped my phone in the toilet. That was just a sample. I shall not bore you with the details. Let me assure you, the day did not go well. Just when I thought things could not get worse, they did.

Shortly after 1 p.m., when the second shift comes in, I heard a series of loud bangs and thumps in the break room. They were the tell tale sounds of someone taking on the vending machine. No doubt someone had seen MY Peanut Butter M&M's and taken on the challenge of the empty space. Based on the speed and the violence associated with the vending machine battle I knew my M&M's were lost. No crispy shell. No silky milk chocolate. No creamy peanut butter.

Mercifully, 3 o'clock made its way onto the clock signaling the end of my day. I gathered up my coffee cup, lunch box and made my way to the door. I took one longing glance at the vending machine and what did I see but MY bag of Peanut Butter M&M's. The scoundrel that had tried to fight the vending machine had lost. Now all that stood between me and the snack that I had been craving for 24 hours was a mere $.65. The day was saved.

I would describe the joy that was found in the consumption of the M&M's, but some things are better left to the imagination.



Anonymous said...

Dear Son

Now I know what to get you for Christmas, your birthday, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Father's Day, etc., etc., etc.


Anonymous said...

Glad I was not talking to you when you were standing there and almost dropped your phone into the toilet . . . .



Anonymous said...

I agree with your folks. Now we have your number!
Well-written article. You have missed your calling! MIL

Anonymous said...

Your obsession with Peanut Butter M&M's might be border-line unhealthy!