Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm An Idiot!

That statement may be a blast from the past for some of you. Robin has commented that some of my, "I am an idiot" stories are legendary. This story may just fall in that category. However, it just may lend itself to a new brand of story, "Chris is a wuss".

Last evening, or to be more specific, this morning, I was eased into that awake/asleep/still dreaming state by a series of strange noises. The first of which was a high pitched squeak. It was followed by a fluttering sound. This happened a couple more times until I was jerked completely awake by two cats galloping across me. Now fully awake I am able to here a constant fluttering noise circling our bedroom. The cats were running in circles to match. I am still a little groggy and thinking this is one heck of a cricket in our room. Finally the sound focuses against the window wall of the room. I can now make out both cats watching the proverbial tennis match of this giant bug flying back and forth in front of our bedroom window. Then, I catch a glimpse of our visitor as it makes its way across our windows. Now the high pitched squeaks and and fluttering make way more sense. We have a bat.

With this realization I decide to wake Robin. I mean you cannot very well catch a bat without waking up others in the room. I nudged her and said, "We have a bat". Her response was, "huh"? I repeated, "We have a bat". Robin countered with, "what do you mean"? So, I was a bit more specific, "We have a bat in our bedroom". With that Robin got up and it kinda went downhill for me. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was going to go get something to catch the bat.

She returned armed with a small pail and a rolled up Captain America comic. Very logical as Cap does wield on heck of a shield. The following events happened simultaneously:

Light went on...
Bat went crazy (as did the cats)...
I went under the sheets.
Give me a break, I did not want to get it stuck in my hair. I had not trimmed my beard in weeks.

Meanwhile Robin is bravely swinging away with the Cap at our bat. I eventually gathered myself enough to climb out of bed to join the fight. I grabbed the closest weapon at my disposal, a pillow, and begin taking swings. After a few blind flails I connected. The little fella ricocheted off our bed and land on the floor partially under the dresser. In came Robin with the Captain and the pail to scoop him up. He revived a bit during this and at one point was laid out, wings spread on the floor. He looked just like the Bat symbol! Awesome!

Robin eventually got him in the pail and we walked him outside. The pail was dumped and our bat flew off into the night.

I must admit my time under the sheets while Robin was battling the bat was not one of my stronger moments. However, I feel I redeemed myself with the pillow shot. Who am I kidding....
I am an idiot wuss.



Maria said...

Oh my gosh, Chris, I was just crying I was laughing so hard!!! Matt got a kick out of it as well, although he wasn't crying with me. At one point I couldn't even read it out loud anymore because I couldn't contain myself...nice work!

Anonymous said...

We had a bat several years ago, and our clue was the same as yours: our cats were going crazy. I locked the cats into a bedrom and ran to get a net sweater-dryer out of the bathroom and stopped the critter with it. Jim ran to get a heavy pair of gloves. We corraled the scared bat and let it go outside. I love bats,* but not in my house. *I love any creature that eats a mosquito! MIL

jori.robinson said...

Way to go BATMAN!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Well Chris, this reminds me of the time a snake was on our back porch and both you and Brett decided that I was the one who should get him to leave the premises.

I guess old habits hang on for awhile! Let someone else do it especially if it is a brave, strong woman!

Love, Mom :-)